June 25 was the four year anniversary of Troy’s death. I just kept replaying the image of that day over and over in my mind. I know I will never forget it. It is etched permanently into my memory. I try to remember him laughing and talking in the hopes that those memories will overshadow his last moments here on earth. It seems so surreal. Like it just happened but then again that it happened so long ago. I no longer listen for his car coming down the driveway and I no longer wake up in the morning and say please let this all be a nightmare. I know I still love him so very much. I would love for him to be back in my life. I am pretty sure I will always feel this way. He made everything all right. And now everything is so jumbled up. Some days I feel like I have given up, I am just existing. I just can’t seem to find my way. What path do I follow? Will someone please take my hand and show me? Guide me. Please.
Jane is a Widow 