Jane is a Widow

was always when Troy did his shopping. He said he loved the crowds and he was just really in the Christmas spirit. He was always smiling, I remember shopping with him when we lived in Indiana and we hadn’t been married very long. We went into a store and a clerk said does he always smile like this, I said he sure does. He was just like Ruby, he had such great parents. They loved him so much and afforded him so many opportunities. He was always grateful for that, his love and respect for them showed. I loved them too. They treated me with the same kind of love. He was so thankful they adopted him. He was devastated when they passed. I hope he found them when he passed. Merry Christmas Troy…..

To Christmas. I’ve been going through plastic tubs full of memorabilia of Troy and me. Brings back a lot of memories, some painful. I believe we always treated people we knew with kindness and respect. We never tried to change anyone or expect them to think the way we did. People aren’t that way anymore, they are selfish, inconsiderate and hateful. I can say that because I’ve been on the receiving end of that hate. I miss Troy but I’m glad he’s not here to experience what I have. And how convenient to display this behavior after he died. My parents raised me to be a kind, considerate person and you’re not going to change that, no matter what you say……I would never let anyone keep me from my parents, the ones who took care of me when I needed them. They deserve my thanks for being there for me. Thank you Mom and Dad for everything….

yesterday was my Aunt Beulah’s heavenly birthday. I sure do miss her, I miss talking with her on the phone every week and visiting with her when I went to Indiana. She was like a Mother to me. She had a lot of sadness in her life but she remained strong. The older I got the closer we got. I’ve been getting stuff ready to sale. What every spouse should know is if your spouse should pass everything that was theirs is now yours. It belongs to no one else, don’t ever let other family members take things that aren’t theirs to take. When you are in a widow’s fog stand up for yourself. Happy Birthday Aunt Beulah……

Together with Ashley and John on Thanksgiving. We had a good time together. No drama just lots of family fun. That’s how Troy always wanted it. Happy Thanksgiving…..

Helen Mirren once said: Before you argue with someone, ask yourself, is that person even mentally mature enough to grasp the concept of a different perspective. Because if not, there’s absolutely no point.

Not every argument is worth your energy. Sometimes, no matter how clearly you express yourself, the other person isn’t listening to understand—they’re listening to react.

They’re stuck in their own perspective, unwilling to consider another viewpoint, and engaging with them only drains you.
There’s a difference between a healthy discussion and a pointless debate.

A conversation with someone who is open-minded, who values growth and understanding, can be enlightening—even if you don’t agree. But trying to reason with someone who refuses to see beyond their own beliefs? That’s like talking to a wall. No matter how much logic or truth you present, they will twist, deflect, or dismiss your words, not because you’re wrong, but because they’re unwilling to see another side.

Maturity isn’t about who wins an argument—it’s about knowing when an argument isn’t worth having. It’s realizing that your peace is more valuable than proving a point to someone who has already decided they won’t change their mind. Not every battle needs to be fought. Not every person deserves your explanation.

Sometimes, the strongest thing you can do is walk away—not because you have nothing to say, but because you recognize that some people aren’t ready to listen. And that’s not your burden to carry.

to Thanksgiving and memories of years past has been creeping into my thoughts. I miss those years past. Our families would get together and celebrate the holiday by eating lots of turkey and dressing and playing cards. My Dad always fried potatoes, he fried the best potatoes, I miss that. We were all very different but that didn’t matter, we didn’t care who someone voted for or what they believed in. We sure didn’t throw anyone out, we all came together to celebrate and enjoy. It’s not like that now, people throw you out if you don’t believe what they believe. There are a lot of bullies and narcissists. But Karma eventually takes care of all of that. I’m thankful that our families put aside any differences we had and enjoyed fellowship with each other. It has left me with wonderful memories of great times with family. I miss you all…..

makes me think of my father in law. His birthday some years fell on Thanksgiving, and the year he passed was a few days after Thanksgiving. He was such a good man, good father, husband and father in law. He treated me like a daughter, I remember telling him how much I loved him a few days before he died. He was a gruff man but would give anyone the shirt off his back. I remember Troy telling me about how his father had accidentally hit a man with his car and the man died. I never heard him talk about it but I’m sure he never forgot it. He was so thrilled with Ashley, she would crawl across the floor and he would talk to her. Sadly, he died when she was so young she doesn’t remember him. He would be proud of her just like I know Troy would be. She’s grown into a kind person. She’s a hard worker, Troy devoted so much time to his family. He would be sad to know how some have turned on me but that’s ok. I just forgive and move on. We both devoted our lives to working and raising our children and its good to know that at least one of them is thankful. Troy was a very hard worker devoted to his family. He always put them first. Happy Heavenly Birthday John. I’ll never forget you……