This week is full of triggers……Father’s Day being the start. The week before Father’s Day Troy was feeling and looking pretty good. The new chemo was working better and his tumor markers had improved. I often find myself going over in my mind how things changed so fast. On Father’s Day Trey said he noticed that he was acting different. I didn’t notice but I think I was preoccupied with all that was going on and Jay had come for a visit. Monday morning didn’t seem different to me but when I got home from work that night he was sleeping in the chair and he stayed there all night. I remember waking several times during the night and hearing the tv so I knew he was still sitting in his chair. The next morning he couldn’t even get up to get dressed. I remember him asking me to call the doctor and ask them to call him in something. Trey came over because he was going to go to the doctor’s appointment with him while I went to mine. He couldn’t even get out to the car by himself. And from there things just went downhill…..After they admitted him to the hospital for pneumonia and started the antibiotics he seemed to be doing better. He was on oxygen but not as much as when he first arrived. That night he sent me texts telling me how much he loved me and to tell the dogs good night from him. He was saying how nice the nurses were. He sounded good but something happened in the middle of the night that turned things all around. I can still remember it all like it happened just yesterday. Breathing became more and more difficult for him the next day or two. The next step was to put him on a ventilator. They actually said it would maybe help him get through the next couple of days while the antibiotics took effect. I need to take a break here……I just get so emotional when I think about it all. I know he wouldn’t want me to get upset. He would want me to be smiling. Just like he always did. He was smiling through it all. God how I miss him.
Jane is a Widow 