It’s hard to believe that it’s been over 5 years since Troy passed. Some days it feels like just yesterday and other days like an eternity. Starting on Father’s Day I begin to relive the whole experience…..from when he first became extremely ill till his last breath. It’s images that are forever ingrained in my mind. Like a nightmare. There was nothing beautiful about that week, just sadness. Sometimes I remember and think I was just floating through the air watching it all unfold before me. Go to bed at night and wake up to the reality of what was happening. Everything was in slow motion. I just kept telling him that last day that it was okay to go we would be okay. What a big lie that was. I knew I wouldn’t be okay without him but I had to let him go. I told him what a great husband and dad he was. He was one of a kind. I’m sure if he could have been smiling he would have. He tried so hard to stay with us but it just was not meant to be. It was his time to go. And here I am 5 years later still trying to find myself. I don’t know if I ever will. If I could have him back in a minute, I surely would.
Jane is a Widow 