This week is such a hard week beginning with Father’s Day. That was the day Troy started showing signs of being sicker than he had been. That Monday he was admitted to the hospital and he would never leave. I remember him standing in the kitchen crying and saying “it is what is is”. I begged him not to leave me here alone but I know it was not his choice. I can’t believe how much my life has changed and if you haven’t lost a spouse then you have no idea what I am talking about. But one day, you will. It’s unavoidable. I read a story from another widow today and was so saddened by her words, they were so true. She had caught women who she thought were her friends talking about her behind her back. They said they were so tired of her talking about her dead husband, how sad. She needs those friends to be understanding and hold her up. She said they are evidently not her friends like she thought they were. And she said the one person who would understand her was dead. Aren’t we women supposed to build each other up instead of tearing each other down? In recent days, I have been labeled racist and lacking in character because I don’t believe in all the destruction. Really? If you call me those things, you really don’t know me at all. As Americans aren’t we entitled to our individual beliefs without being called names. That’s one of the things my father fought for in WWII. Our continued right to be who we are and to respect other’s rights also. That’s one of the great things about the United States, we have these freedoms and though I may disagree with what you believe in, I respect your right. People are so disappointing. People that said I could count on them have turned on me and never looked back. The one person I could count on is gone, he loved me no matter what. He loved me for me, not because he had an agenda and not because I felt the way he did about everything. We were very different in may ways. No one knows what life I led from the sleepy little town of Middletown, yet they choose to judge me. It’s been 6 years since Troy passed and some days I feel his loss so deeply. I know what he would be saying right now. He would say they don’t know what they are talking about. So I feel him pushing me along and not to give up. I know who I am and even though you may think you know me, maybe you really don’t. I think we should all try a little love instead of hate and quit labeling people because they have different views than we do, it doesn’t make them bad just different. We are all in this together. To make things better for everyone, we need to be together to rise above all the hate and anger. To reach out your hand and say I’m here.
Jane is a Widow 