know now. That’s our favorite fantasy, going back in time knowing what we know now. There are a lot of changes I would make in the hopes that things would be different at this point. This time of the year in 1976 I was planning my small wedding. It was just going to be at a small country church and I wasn’t going to invite too many people. My mom wanted nothing to do with helping me plan things out. I shopped for my dress, ordered my cake, talked to the minister and did all those little small things. I ordered matches with our date and names on the cover. Of course they printed them as Tony and Jane, so for a long time the newspaper office was passing out matches with Tony and Jane on them. We got our blood tests done at my family doctor, and of course they came back as Tony and Jane so we had to have them done over. We almost did make the cutoff. Wonder if those were omens? They didn’t scare me off, I was in love with Troy no matter what. I still am. I always will be. There are things I wish we had done differently. I wish I hadn’t worked two jobs for so long, even working weekends. But I was trying to help out financially. I wish he hadn’t worked those long hours at EDS, sometimes days in a row with no sleep, only to be booted out the door. When we are doing those things, we don’t realize the price of some of it. I mean, he’s not here with me right now, by my side. And he’s supposed to be. He wasn’t suppose to leave me all alone. But he did. I wish he hadn’t.
Jane is a Widow 