April 24th would have been our 45th wedding anniversary……really hard to believe that it was all so long ago but everything stopped at our 38th. I will forever remember that day, it is etched in my mind. I went to work on the 23rd but had to leave because I couldn’t stop sneezing. I am sure it was some kind of nervous reaction to what was going to take place on the 24th. We had the rehearsal dinner at Red Lobster the evening of the 23rd. It was a fun evening. After our wedding we drove through Middletown blowing the horn and getting rid of all the feathers in the car. One of Troy’s friends had put a feather pillow in our car and cut it open so there were feathers everywhere. I was still finding feathers the next year in there, haha. It was such a simple wedding, all of that wasn’t important to me. That I was getting to marry the man of my dreams was all that mattered. I remember Troy’s Mom teasing and saying they would come down to the lake in a few days to celebrate with us. I kept thinking oh my if she shows up for my honeymoon, I’ll die. As I look back on my life, there are so many things I wish I had done differently. I wish I had traveled and finished my degree before I got married. Troy did a lot of traveling with his friends but I had really done zero traveling. It always seemed like I was doing what someone else wanted me to do not what I wanted to do. I worked two jobs most of the time after we moved to Texas and cheated myself out of many weekends to relax and enjoy. It’s funny how life works things out for you. When Troy was sick I was working all the time and ironically he’s no longer here and I am only working part time. And as you get older you realize that all that other noise is unimportant. It really doesn’t matter. And you find that some of the choices you made you regret later but you can’t go back and redo. Try to do others right cause you may not get a second chance.
Jane is a Widow 