Changes…..

Another year is half gone and I still haven’t managed to get my house ready to sell. But I am working on it, I am making some progress. The fact that I don’t feel welcome here anymore is helping to motivate me. Troy would want me to live where I feel comfortable and loved. He would want me to be happy, that was something he stressed right before he died. I’m 65 and I don’t know how much time I have left. Life is way too short to waste it. If you don’t want me in your life, so be it. People live in a bubble where they think everything they believe is the right way and they have no respect for those who feel differently. That is hateful and divisive. That’s ok if you want to be so selfish that you only think of yourself, I think truly good people accept others no matter what. And they never put on “airs”. So many people put on “airs”, and at some point you see the real person. People these days are so hateful and rude. I always forgive but I don’t forget. People need to be very sure before they cut people out of their life, cause it cuts deep. Sometimes you can’t undo the damage done to the relationship. Like I said I am not getting any younger and it is time to enjoy. We never get too old to learn, I’m still learning. We both worked so hard all our life and I want to enjoy some things. It’s unfortunate that he is not here to enjoy it with me. I worked two jobs for so many years and Troy worked his butt off so our children had the opportunity to enjoy things that made them happy. I spent the majority of my married years making sure everyone was doing what they loved and had everything they needed. I never stopped and checked on myself. That time has come. Some close friends have passed away this year and sadly it’s just a reminder of how fragile our life really is. We can be here today but gone tomorrow. Our lives can change in the blink of an eye. That happened to mine and Troy’s life one day. It was never the same. So shut me out of your life if you must, it’s your loss, not mine. I would never do that.