Autumn is upon me and with it comes lots of memories. Troy really enjoyed the season, and I do too, it’s just that I don’t like the season that comes after it. I’ve been melancholy the last couple of weeks, really missing him. Sometimes the memories all run together, like mini snapshots of my life. I’m glad that I have them to go to because I no longer recognize the country I grew up in. I’ve never seen so much hate and division as I do now. Even in families. I know if he were here right now, he would be able to sort it all out. He had a way of putting things in perspective for me. I saw a commercial today that made me realize just how fortunate I have been. It was a young widow with seven children. And she was saying she doesn’t have seven arms, and I thought to myself how fortunate that my husband was alive when our children were growing up. How difficult things must be for her, first the grief of losing her husband and then how to take care of seven small children. I was wishing I could give her a hug and tell her the grief is ever changing, it won’t always be the same. I wish I could ask her if there is anything I can do to lighten her load. I had Troy for 38 years, that’s a long time. We grew up together, we had a bond that some people never experience in their life. He knew me better than I know myself and vice versa. So when people diss me and act like I am some terrible person, I think to myself what Troy would say. He would say they are shallow and inconsiderate. In a world where you can be kind, why be anything else. People will eventually see what kind of person you really are, your true colors will emerge. People see how they were used, and how superficial feelings really are. And at that point there will be no more hiding. You will be exposed.
Jane is a Widow 