Feeling really sad today on what would have been our 46th wedding anniversary. I was thinking how I was spending the whole morning getting ready. I kept thinking I hope Troy shows up, haha. It was a small wedding in a little country church I grew up in. My mother didn’t want to help me with the wedding so I did it mostly by myself. It was a sunny spring day. I remember one of Troy’s friends put a feather pillow in our car and there were feathers everywhere and they were flying out the windows. We were finding feathers for a long time in our car, haha. All these memories are nice, comforting. Someday I hope they overcome the sadness that I feel. Grief changes. It changes you. I’m for sure not the same person and my near death experience in January has changed me also. I now see people for who they really are not who I thought they were. People can be cruel and it hurts to learn that those you love and trust can turn on you but they do. And how they say things about you that are so untrue. People will eventually see the truth. But you must keep moving forward knowing that you gave it your all. And I believe God has been there with me every step of the way and still is.
Jane is a Widow 