I look back on things and see how it was all slowly evolving. Troy would mention things to me but you never want to think bad of anyone or anything. I’ve learned that people can actually hide behind their many faces. And then at some point it is all going to come to light and you will see that person for who they really are. And it can be quite painful, especially if you put trust into that person and felt love for them. Maybe you did things for them that you hoped would cause them to appreciate you but there comes a point when they have gotten what they wanted from you and they no longer have a need for you. Then they tell others things about you that aren’t true cause they have to make themselves look good. They want others to believe that you no longer have a relationship because of something you did surely not because of something they did. I could never use someone, no one deserves that but I sure have allowed myself to be used. When I tell those I know the story they feel sadness for me, sadness that it happened to me. But I don’t have anything to feel bad about, I have treated them nice and they are the ones who have chosen to take the road they did. There is no going back for me, it can never be the way it was, not again. I must protect myself from people like that and once they have exposed themselves, I’m done. I always forgive but never forget. The hurt that I felt is no longer there. I’m ok, I survived it. I’ve made changes since my heart attack to protect myself, we must never let people have a hold on us. I’m not perfect but I am a good person. I try to treat others like I like to be treated and best of all I’m not fake. It’s really me, not a mask. You should always treat others the way you like to be treated, you never know when you might need them. I’m so thankful Melvin was there when I had my heart attack, he along with God helped me through it.
Jane is a Widow 