at 5:23 pm, Troy took his last breath. It was all so surreal, hard to believe that he was gone. I had been talking to him the whole time and he kept trying to open his eyes but he couldn’t. As I walked out of the hospital it seemed so surreal to me. Like I was out looking in, that it was all a bad dream. Unfortunately it wasn’t. My life as I remembered it was no longer there. Everything had changed. I remember my mother telling me that she sat on her couch for 6 months after my father died. She was so lost, I also found myself lost. What do I do, where do I go? You wonder how you will survive without them. It’s not easy that’s for sure. You suddenly find yourself in charge of everything, things you know nothing about. I remember he had been having trouble with algae in the pool, when I came home from the hospital I could not believe how bad the pool looked and how I knew nothing about taking care of it. I had told my brother who also had a pool, I thought maybe he would help me but he didn’t. He was nowhere to be found, neither was my sister in law. They distanced themselves from me, Troy would not be happy about that. Slowly I started finding people to help me with different things going on. God was the one who saw me through it all and he is still there cheering me on. If you have lost a spouse, don’t give up on yourself. You can do it, it’s a hard journey but believe in yourself that you can do it because I know you can….I did
Jane is a Widow 