Jane is a Widow

Hard to believe another year has almost came to an end. Still hard to believe Troy has been gone 8 years but I have so many memories of our life to last me a lifetime. I used to cry when I remembered one but now I sometimes find comfort, laughter or a multitude of emotions. Like I said grief is ever changing. Thank you God for getting me through it.

Had a wonderful Christmas dinner with Ashley, John and Melvin. I told Ashley that I was sure her Dad was there in spirit. We had some laughs of Christmas pasts and made some new memories. Today would have to go down in my book as a wonderful day. Merry Christmas everyone. Hope your day was as enjoyable as mine. 💕

I was sitting here thinking of Christmas Eves past. Troy’s mother would always spend the night with us when the children were little. So many wonderful memories tucked away. My how things have changed. The holidays are very different after you lose your spouse. They look different, feel different because they are forever changed. But I’m thankful that I can pull a memory out whenever I need some comfort. When we are children we think our lives will always be the same, but there’s so many changes we go through over the years. We lose our loved ones along the way, and when we do we go through many changes. Some are very painful. Tomorrow we will go to our daughters home for Christmas. Troy won’t be there in person but he will be in spirit. I’m thankful for Melvin to now share all those important days with. Troy would be very happy that we are spending his favorite holiday with family. Thank you God.

My brother sent me some pictures of the house we grew up in and our parents lived there after we were all gone. It looks so different in the front but I’m glad someone is fixing it up because there were a lot of things wrong with it. Inside and out. They put in a big driveway and now have a short border around the property made of stone. The person my parents rented the house from right after I was born was found on the front step of the house in a basket. He was an infant and the people who lived in the house eventually adopted him. What an incredible story, someone who gave birth to him gave him a chance at another life, possibly a better life. There was an article in the newspaper when this man died, telling the story of him being adopted by the family who found him on their doorstep. My parents eventually bought the house from the man who was adopted. I remember them telling the story often of him being found on the doorstep. What a beautiful story.

Looking forward to getting together with family that I haven’t seen since Troy passed. He will be there in spirit. 💕

I look at my life and see all the changes since Troy passed, I never thought my life would look like this. Our family is splintered now and that would make him so unhappy. People who know me have a hard time understanding it just as I do. Unfortunately there are just some people in this world that are trouble makers and aren’t happy unless they make trouble in others lives.