Jane is a Widow

Hard to believe but it’s been 7 years since my aunt passed. I miss her everyday. We talked on the phone often and she always wrote me letters. I loved her like a mother. She always said I was just like a daughter. She had a wonderful husband named Charles who died of a heart attack while they were visiting my uncle. He was so good to her, treated her like the gem she was. He was such a breath of fresh air after her first husband Cecil who abused Beulah regularly. She told me about the time he tried to choke her to death with a belt, so Charles was the knight in shining armor. Too bad he left this world so young. Beulah later met George whom she married. He too passed away. I love and miss you Aunt Beulah. What a difference you made in my life.

Over the years I have learned a lot about people and those people who are narcissistic. They are always very quiet when abusing their victim. They do it in private, this way others do not see them for who they really are. But you the victim know. To others they are just so nice and gracious but behind closed doors they are evil. They will never change their ways, they look at themselves like they are such wonderful people yet they do such horrific things to others. I really believe that at some point what they have done to others will come back and pay them a visit. You can’t go through life treating people this way and get away with it. There is always a cost for being unkind.

A friend I grew up with wrote a quote yesterday that’s so true. I asked her if I could share it, so here it is. “The people in our lives who are the most difficult, cruel and heartless are the ones who teach us the most. Thank you for the infinite wisdom.” Thank you Teresa Trout for letting me share your quote.

who is a licensed professional in dealing with narcissistic abuse among other things, has helped me to navigate through what I have dealt with and continue to deal with. I’m so thankful for her. There are people who are put in our path to assist us in dealing with difficult situations.

I hope you can find your tribe if you are dealing with widowhood. I’ve got so many widow friends who are there for me and they understand what I am dealing with right now. They can offer so much support and advice. I’m not the only person who has dealt with this. There are so many things that you deal with and you are so vulnerable. There are decisions I made that I wish I could redo but I can control future decisions I make.

People are so different than we were in the 70’s. We loved one another and there was really no room for hate. We respected each other and accepted one another. I received a message the other day from someone telling me what a beautiful person they are and if I will just change my ideology I would be accepted by them. I don’t want to be like you, no thanks, people like you are too full of hate for those who are different.

Watching this crazy hurricane that is headed for Tampa Bay. Pray that everyone stays safe. I’ve been wanting to move there but when weather like this happens there I start thinking about the hill country, my happy place.