Author: janep38

with another widow who said she was very lonely. One of her sons hasn’t spoken to her in three years, I told her I could relate to that. It’s been three years for me too since my son has had anything to do with me. I told her that I am so thankful for our daughter. I could have never done to my mother what has been done to me. I’m glad I don’t have that on my conscience. I can live knowing that I did everything to help my mother. I wish this widow lived closer to me so I could get together with her. She now knows she’s not alone in her situation. There are others out there dealing with the same thing. It’s hard to believe that we dedicated our whole lives to giving our children the best and unfortunately there are some that are so ungrateful. If you treat someone bad it will eventually smack you in the face and wake you up. Hope it’s not too late….

was National Widows Day, a day that those of us acknowledge but wish we didn’t have to. Count your blessings if you don’t have to acknowledge it. Did you say something kind to a widow or widower, did you let them know you care? Most of us don’t receive any kind words or words of sympathy. Unfortunately, at some point in your life you will find yourself a member of this club. I hope you don’t but if you are I hope you receive some caring words. I sure never thought I would be a member of it, I thought Troy would live forever. That we would be able to retire together and spend the rest of our days enjoying it. But unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be. So next time you see a widow or widower show them that you care……..it will go a long way and maybe make their day.

Financial advisor. Got things situated the way I wanted them. I’m feeling good about how I’m getting things in order. I had lunch with a neighbor and she was shocked when she heard what is going on in my family. She found it hard to believe that my child refuses to stand up for me. I guess that’s what happens when a person has no backbone and can’t stand up for their mother. Pretty sad I say. They let other people dictate what they can and can’t do. What a life that would be. Only being able to do what your spouse says you can do. Stand up for yourself, do what’s right not what someone tells you to do. Grow a backbone……

Today would have been our 49th wedding anniversary but unfortunately it was interrupted in 2014. I’ve been gathering a lot of my memories from that day. All those years together have left me with tons of memories, I’ll never run out. There are some decisions I wish we hadn’t made, decisions that have left me hurt. I spent so much of my adult life trying to make everyone else happy, never thinking about myself. Working two jobs so others got what they wanted, never caring if I got what I wanted. And it didn’t pay off, I ended up being the one on the short end of the stick. Some people can be so cold and heartless, but it will all come back to them. I imagine sometimes what our life would be like if he was still alive, but it will never happen. Happy Heavenly 49th Anniversary Troy, miss you and love you.

It is getting close to what would have been our 49th anniversary. Hard to believe it was that many years ago. I was remembering the night we became engaged. My mother wasn’t happy for me just critical. Through our 38 years together we sacrificed a lot. I worked two jobs and Troy worked his butt off programming. We missed out on a lot so that others wishes could come true. I wish I had known then what I know now, that someone could be so ungrateful for all the sacrifices made for him. I appreciated everything my parents did for me, no matter how small. I guess I expected the same, but what disappointment I have seen the last few years. To be thrown out like trash, something I could never do. Everything changes when you become widowed, there is really no one you can count on in your family. They don’t care. They are too busy seeing what they can get out of the deal. They come over to your house and just help themselves to your property. And once they have gotten all they wanted, they toss you to the side. If only I had known…..

In the last week we have lost two widows and one widower. One of the widows was only 35 and leaves behind four children. People don’t understand what grief does to a person. Everyone will eventually have to deal with grief but it’s sad that people lack understanding of what widows and widowers deal with. We all belong to a group that no one wants to belong to. But we didn’t have a choice in the matter unfortunately. So please try to be understanding when dealing with someone who has lost their spouse, show some empathy. Don’t be judgmental….

Yesterday was my mother in laws Heavenly Birthday. She is missed. She was such a good person, we didn’t always see eye to eye but I loved her. I would have never treated her like I’m being treated by my daughter in law. She says I’m an awful person, but for many years she took advantage of my generosity and never said those things when Troy was alive. I would have never told Troy that he couldn’t be around his mother and even if I had he would have said no way am I staying away from my mother. We both respected her. Of course I was raised to treat people with respect, even if we disagree. I’m thankful for our daughter and her husband who treat me good. Troy would be thankful. I’m working now on finalizing my documents for after I’m gone. The way I have been treated greatly influenced my decisions. Miss you Ruby, until we meet again…..

someone tell you that you are a bad person after they have taken and taken from you. It’s funny you were a nice person then, but they are through with you now. They have gotten all they want from you, so they can now say mean things and lie about you. How they can justify it, I’ll never know. Sad that this is the kind of society we now live in. People can use you and then through you out like trash. But it is true what goes around comes around. This was done to me, I have shared this with all my friends and they are shocked when they hear the story. They can’t believe their ears, but it is true. So always treat others the way you want to be treated. Being nice to others, is the right thing to do. It will come back to you ten fold…..