Author: janep38

awesome and beautiful daughter, Ashley. I wish Troy was here to help us celebrate. I’m so proud of the woman she has become and I know he would be too. She’s considerate and kind. I hope she has a wonderful day. It’s hard to believe that she is 38, I remember when she was a baby. Thank you God for putting Ashley in our lives…..

neighbor yesterday and we were discussing how long we had lived next to each other. Ashley was 8 when we moved to Texas from Indiana. Tomorrow she will be 38, I’ve lived in our house for 30 years. Unfortunately Troy wasn’t afforded the same opportunity. I’m going to work real hard this year at getting myself in a position to move to the Hill country. That’s where I want to be. I’m praying that I get there. So much has changed in those 30 years, some good, some bad. Troy wouldn’t recognize it now. I wish he were here but he’s not and I can’t change that. I have 38 years of memories with him and I’ll never run out. Yesterday another student from Shenandoah passed away. We were never friends at school but became friends on facebook. I was really impressed with all the baking she did and I knew she had some health problems. Her daughter passed from cancer a few years ago, and she started an organization that made cozy chemo comforters in memory of her. She will be missed especially by her family. RIP Dianne, godspeed…..

to Troy’s death anniversary. After the date of our wedding anniversary things become sad cause I know his death anniversary is right around the corner. The grief changes, it’s never the same. I heard from one of my widower friends the other day, it was so sad what he had to say. He always has the most beautiful pictures with the perfect words. I have been seeing less and less of him, he let us know why. He is dealing with the onset of alzheimers. I felt so very sad for him. He said there are days he stands in a room and doesn’t know where he is or who he is. How very sad for him. I’m thankful for my memories of Troy even though they are painful but my friend is losing his ability to claim the memories he once had. I thought of my aunt who I watched slowly slip away from us. She was like a mother to me. I wish you well Michael, and pray you can hang on to your memories for a long time……thank you for blessing us all with your beautiful pictures and words.

after Troy passed, I started seeing the signs. Little remarks made to me that indicated I knew where there was going. As I reread the letter from August 2022, I had to chuckle to myself. It is really hilarious. How immature and childish it was. We are adults but I swear it’s like a letter from a child. You’ve been mean to me for 15 years, lol. So when Troy was alive I was being so very mean, lol. And I have bent over backwards for you for 15 years, lol. Awe you poor thing. And when you let political views affect your relationships that even shows your immaturity more. Waa Waa, you don’t like who I like. My parents had lots of friends from the opposite side of the political spectrum but I guess this generation just can’t handle that. You have to like who they like. Try growing up and showing a little respect to people that think differently than you do. I did, when Troy and I accepted you even though you are an atheist. You really have some issues you need to work on but that’s ok I’m moving on and just finding all the humor in the situation….sadly it doesn’t hurt me it only hurts your husband…..

with another widow who said she was very lonely. One of her sons hasn’t spoken to her in three years, I told her I could relate to that. It’s been three years for me too since my son has had anything to do with me. I told her that I am so thankful for our daughter. I could have never done to my mother what has been done to me. I’m glad I don’t have that on my conscience. I can live knowing that I did everything to help my mother. I wish this widow lived closer to me so I could get together with her. She now knows she’s not alone in her situation. There are others out there dealing with the same thing. It’s hard to believe that we dedicated our whole lives to giving our children the best and unfortunately there are some that are so ungrateful. If you treat someone bad it will eventually smack you in the face and wake you up. Hope it’s not too late….

was National Widows Day, a day that those of us acknowledge but wish we didn’t have to. Count your blessings if you don’t have to acknowledge it. Did you say something kind to a widow or widower, did you let them know you care? Most of us don’t receive any kind words or words of sympathy. Unfortunately, at some point in your life you will find yourself a member of this club. I hope you don’t but if you are I hope you receive some caring words. I sure never thought I would be a member of it, I thought Troy would live forever. That we would be able to retire together and spend the rest of our days enjoying it. But unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be. So next time you see a widow or widower show them that you care……..it will go a long way and maybe make their day.